Noosum Foosum Read online

  Five minutes later, had there been an observer, they would have seen a curious looking figure, a boy, a girl and a very small dragon, arm in arm, bobbing up and down on thin air and giggling helplessly.

  ‘Right. Let’s find out where this wind is coming from, shall we?’ Danny asked rhetorically. ‘Going down!’ and with that he sprayed once more, this time in a circular motion onto the chimney walls just above them. Sure enough, he had got the setting just right, so that the walls started to repel them and they started floating gently downwards, slowly rotating in the breeze as they did.

  As their eyes adjusted further to the darkness of the chimney, they noticed tiny lights on the walls around them. ‘Fireflies!’ whispered Noosum Foosum; and he was right – for fireflies had made their homes there, creating pin-pricks of light all the way down. And the walls were not made of rock, as you might expect, but instead were inset with beautiful crystals of celestine. The crystals had the appearance of giant diamonds, each one reflecting the twinkling lights of the fireflies beside it, so that in concert they produced an intricate lacework of firefly light that spanned the depth and breadth of the chimney. Katie caught her breath in wonder – it was better than the most beautiful fairground ride any of them had been on. They squeezed each other’s hands with delight and gazed around as they gently descended. They were inside a giant, crystal and light kaleidoscope and they felt that they were in the most wonderful place in all the world.

  Chapter 4

  In an instant, the spell was broken. They found themselves suddenly falling and before they knew what was happening, they had landed with a splash in some kind of noxious liquid! Danny coughed and spluttered and trod water to keep afloat. Noosum Foosum and Katie had grabbed hold of a log and were bobbing up and down next to him. The dragon hovered over-head.

  ‘What happened..!?’ asked Katie, also spluttering and coughing out something she had almost swallowed.

  ‘The spray’ – gasped Noosum Foosum as he scrabbled at the log to get a better grip, ‘there must be a time limit on it. It was only a prototype. We were lucky this …’ (he gestured around himself as best he could) ‘…liquid… broke our fall.’

  ‘It smells a bit funny,’ said Danny. ‘It smells of compost.’

  ‘No, it smells of celery,’ offered Katie.

  ‘Yes… celery,’ added Noosum Foosum in a mystified tone.

  ‘What’s that you’re hanging on to?’ asked Danny. Noosum Foosum and Katie peered through the half-light at the log they were clinging to. They stared at it, they sniffed it, Noosum Foosum broke a bit off, and ate it!

  ‘Celery!’ he declared triumphantly.

  ‘We’re in a soup!’ concluded Danny, ‘a giant soup!’

  ‘Or,’ added Katie with a gulp, ‘a Giant’s soup.’

  They looked at each other and peered up at the tall, tall sides of what they now realised was some kind of enormous cauldron, which towered above them. Danny started to get a very nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He looked at the others and swallowed.

  Now the dragon had been quietly hovering above them all this while and was looking decidedly at home. Danny, remembering why he had embarked down the chimney in the first place, looked up at dragon and asked, ‘Dragon – what are you having for supper this evening?’

  The dragon replied, ‘Well, funny you should ask. Normally when I’m home I roast myself some chickens or some such, but today I was going to have something else for a change.’

  ‘And how do you normally cook your chicken?’ continued Danny.

  ‘Easy – just a long blast of fire for a minute or so. I get quite an itch up my nose if it gets past four o’clock and I haven’t blasted anything, so I always have my tea on time,’ went on the dragon.

  ‘Dragon?’ asked Danny. ‘Are you having a celery soup supper today instead of your usual four o’clock tea by any chance?’

  Chapter 5

  Danny had guessed right. Noosum Foosum and the children had in fact landed in a cauldron of celery soup that the dragon (when he had been his normal size) had prepared that very morning to have for his supper.

  Noosum Foosum looked at Danny, Katie looked at Noosum Foosum and Danny looked at the dragon. The source of the mysterious wind in Noosum Foosum’s kitchen at four o’clock every day (apart from the Easter weekend, when the dragon visited his Aunt) was mysterious no longer.

  You see, unlike today (when the dragon was of course at Noosum Foosum’s at four o’clock), whenever the dragon roasted his chickens, or pheasants or whatever it was he was having, he would skewer them in the fireplace that he had at the bottom of Noosum Foosum’s chimney (which also happened to be his chimney). He would blow an enormous fireball at the chicken for a minute or so – causing a column of super-heated air to blast right up the chimney and blow open the door of Noosum Foosum’s stove!

  So, to everyone’s surprise, the dragon’s cave turned out to be in the very same hillside that Noosum Foosum and Choosum Foosum lived in. And the dragon’s kitchen shared the very same chimney as Noosum Foosum’s kitchen.

  The dragon magicked himself big again, helped them all out of the cauldron and, pretty soon, after Danny had given them a big blast of repel to get rid of any remnants of food still sticking to them, they were tucking into hot soup (which didn’t smell nearly as bad once it was properly cooked).

  And there they sat, laughing, chatting and eating in the dragon’s cave, next to the beautiful chimney – the likes of which had never before been seen anywhere in all the world.

  That night, as their parents kissed them goodnight and inspected their hands and faces for cleanliness, the children could not help but notice their father’s expression when he took their hands in his, for they were the most pristine looking hands he had ever seen. He gave them a curious look, saying uncertainly, ‘Katie, Danny, very clean hands, very well done both of you.’ And, as their father tucked them up in bed, they couldn’t help feeling a tingle of excitement that he had noticed the effect of Choosum Foosum’s remarkable new spray!

  A Friend Comes to the Rescue

  Chapter 1

  It was an unexpectedly sunny spring afternoon. The type of afternoon which demanded hedgerows to be trimmed, flowerbeds to be weeded and bikes to be brought out of garages to be cleaned and oiled. The type of afternoon which tapped on the window, beckoning you out of the house to come and see all the things that needed seeing and to do all the things that needed doing. The type of afternoon which, in particular, needed the children to put aside their reading and colouring and set off on another one of their adventures.

  The children had no intention of disappointing the afternoon for, as soon as they had noticed it, they were zooming out of the back door, over the patio and out of the gate which led to the footpath. The sunlight danced in Katie’s hair and glinted off the white of Danny’s top as they raced through the snicket in the hedge and down the path which led to Noosum Foosum’s boat. He had promised to take them on a special trip, and they didn’t want to miss a single moment of it.

  Their friend the dragon was already waiting for them at the bank of the stream, and told them that, although he would love to come along, he was too busy today so would have to hear all about it on their return. He lowered his neck so the children could give him a hug and a kiss before performing the magic which miniaturized them to the size of Noosum Foosum. As he flew off into the distance, Katie waving a fond goodbye, a familiar voice announced: ‘Children! How lovely to see you – I’ve just finished, so you are in perfect time.’

  ‘Finished what?’ asked Danny curiously.

  ‘Applying Choosum’s latest invention, of course!’ replied Noosum Foosum cheerily. ‘Look!’ and he held up what looked to be a can of paint and a paintbrush.

  ‘Paint?’ Katie asked, a little disappointed. She looked at the hull of Noosum Foosum’s boat, which was gleaming in the sunlight having obviously just been given a fresh coat of paint. After Choosum Foosum’s last incredible invention of the spray that
could attract or repel any object, it did seem a little disappointing.

  ‘Ah – not just any old paint,’ retorted Noosum Foosum, ‘this is very special indeed. Watch this.’ The children leant back in the tall, fresh grass and watched closely as Noosum fetched three tennis balls from the cabin of the boat, set two on the ground and threw the third to Danny, who neatly caught it. He picked up one of the others but this time dipped it into his can of paint before throwing it to Katie. Katie shrieked as she deftly leaned to one side in an attempt to avoid getting splattered in wet paint. But, incredibly, as the ball bounced off her T-shirt, it left no mark at all; remarkably, the paint seemed to have dried instantly! Picking up the ball from the grass beside her, she slowly handled it, dropping it from one hand into the other. It felt somehow different to any other ball she had handled; it seemed to slip between her fingers impossibly easily.

  ‘Who’s best at throwing?’ asked Noosum Foosum.

  ‘Easy! Me!’ declared Danny, jumping up and wielding his ball in readiness.

  ‘OK, let’s see,’ said Noosum Foosum as he positioned the children side by side at the bank of the river. ‘You go first.’

  Danny drew his arm as far back as he could and hurled the ball with all his strength into the water in front of them. It was a good throw because, despite the fact that there was quite a strong wind coming off the water directly at them, the ball had still gone a reasonable distance. Danny looked justifiably pleased with it. Noosum Foosum now nodded gently to Katie to indicate that it was her turn. Swinging her arm slowly backwards and then jerking it swiftly forwards, she delivered an effective underarm lob. The children were astonished to see the ball describe a perfect parabolic arc through the air before landing with a plop in the water twice as far from them as Danny’s ball, seemingly completely unaffected by the wind.

  ‘The paint!’ exclaimed Katie, running up to Noosum Foosum. ‘What is it?’

  ‘As I said – Choosum’s latest invention,’ explained Noosum Foosum, ‘it is frictionless paint.’ The children looked blank.

  ‘Does that mean it’s not real?’ asked Danny, somewhat confused.

  ‘No, not fictional,’ answered Noosum kindly, ‘friction-less. Look, you know how if you roll a ball along the ground, no matter how quickly it starts off, it will eventually stop?’

  ‘Yes. Unless it’s down a hill!’ answered Danny enthusiastically, indicating a dramatic incline with his arm.

  ‘OK, yes – I mean when it’s just flat. Why is it that balls always come to a stop? Or to ask another question, why is it that when you shove a penny across a table-top it always come to a stop too?’

  The children thought about this for a minute and then Katie answered: ‘well, it kind of sticks.’

  ‘Yes. Well done!’ said Noosum Foosum with a smile, pleased with her answer. ‘That stickiness is what we call friction, and it’s friction that slows things down, be they marbles rolled across a carpet, pennies across a table, or,’ nodding at the river, ‘balls thrown through the air – especially in a wind. The different molecules in the carpet, or table, or air or whatever, sort of bump into the molecules in the ball and slow it down. It’s the main reason why cars and planes and boats and submarines and all manner of things have a top speed – they go so fast that they bump into so many molecules of air or water or whatever they’re going through that they just can’t go any faster.’

  The children were listening attentively. Whilst they didn’t understand some of what Noosum Foosum was saying, they kind-of did – and they certainly understood that Katie’s ball had flown through the wind as if there had been no wind at all!

  ‘Look, watch this,’ started Noosum Foosum again and he picked up three balls, dipped them in the paint, and this time produced Choosum Foosum’s attract/repel spray. He carefully sprayed underneath each ball.

  ‘I have given these three balls a little dose of repel to their undersides,’ he explained, letting go of them. Sure enough the balls hovered in mid-air, just as the children had when they’d sprayed the soles of their shoes with repel. Noosum Foosum then changed the dial again and sprayed the top and sides of the three balls, adding ‘and over the rest of the balls apart from the undersides I am giving a little attract.’

  As the children watched, they saw that, as each ball received its allocated dose of attract, it immediately snapped against the other balls – just as two magnets do if you hold them the right way round. Then, with the air of a master craftsman, or of a magician producing a dove from thin air, Noosum Foosum gave the cluster of balls a gentle blow to one side. The three balls started to gently rotate, held together with the attract and hanging in mid air because of the repel on their bottoms. The children looked on fascinated.

  ‘When will they stop?’ asked Danny.

  ‘Never,’ replied Noosum Foosum simply. ‘Why should they? Because of Choosum’s paint they are completely friction-less. The air molecules around them just let them slip past without slowing them down at all. We could leave them there, come back in a year’s time and they would still be turning, just like that.’

  The children looked on fascinated

  ‘Now,’ he said excitedly, ‘I must show you what I’ve been using the paint for on the boat, because that’s the really interesting part. But, before I do, let’s have one last demonstration with the balls,’ and Noosum Foosum gently plucked two of the balls from the cluster, giving one to Danny and the other to Katie. The remaining ball he just left hanging in mid-air, all by itself!

  The children found that the balls now stuck to their hands as they handled them, due to the attract.

  ‘Now, Danny, throw your ball towards my one, but you’re not trying to hit it; imagine you’re trying to land the ball just next to it.’

  Danny gently lobbed his ball as Noosum Foosum directed, giving it a little flick as he let go to overcome the attract. It arced forwards and went past the other ball, just to the side. But then, magically, the attract started to work because, just as it was about to go shooting past, it swung around, sling-shotting itself back to Danny – who caught it again!

  ‘Nice!’ announced Noosum. ‘Now Katie, you try.’

  Katie did the same, lobbing her ball in the same direction as Danny’s, but with not quite so much force, so that it only just passed the target ball. Just as it had for Danny, the attract started to work and her ball started to swing back; but it kept on being pulled back towards the target ball, so that it ended up circling it! It kept going – being attracted and bent around again, circling the target ball again and again; always the same distance away, always going the same speed.

  ‘Now that,’ stated Noosum Foosum simply, ‘was a perfect throw. Do you know what your ball is now doing?’ he asked Katie rhetorically. ‘It’s in orbit!’

  Thoughts of space ships and satellites and planets and moons filled the children’s heads and suddenly they had a million questions for Noosum Foosum. But happily (as we would never get to hear about their adventure if they actually asked all their questions) Noosum Foosum guessed what they were thinking. He asked the children, ‘have you heard that our planet, the Earth, orbits the sun? And that the moon orbits the Earth?’ The children nodded their answers. ‘Well this is how it’s done. Moons and stars and planets are so big that they have a gravity force that makes it seem like God has sprayed them with lots and lots of Choosum’s attract spray. Enough to attract all of us, to keep us stuck safely to the planet’s surface and enough to attract any moons or anything else that’s nearby. And in space there is no air or molecules of any kind for them to bump into, so it’s as if the planets have been dipped in Choosum’s frictionless paint. So once put in motion, they continue orbiting one another year after year, because the gravity keeps attracting them round and around and because there’s nothing to slow them down!’

  The children stared at the balls, then down at the grass and then up at the sky, as they took in everything that Noosum Foosum had said.

  ‘That has obviously given you a
lot to think about,’ said Noosum. ‘I suggest we climb onboard and have a nice cup of hot chocolate to help us mull things over.’ So the three climbed into the boat and the children sipped their chocolates and gazed dreamily out of the window thinking over all that they had been told, while Noosum Foosum started the engine and gently headed off down the river. As the boat weaved its way through the reeds and grasses at the edge of the water, the children noticed how incredibly smoothly the boat was going. Danny said that he thought it must be what drifting along in a hot air balloon feels like.

  ‘Smooth isn’t it?’ said Noosum Foosum, ‘I’ve painted the hull of the boat all over with Choosum’s paint; which means that this boat can now cut right through the water as if it wasn’t there at all. In fact, I just have to get it going and then I can turn the engine off completely…’ and as he said the words the children heard the gentle hum of the engine dwindle and die, to be replaced by the smooth swishing sound of rushes and reeds brushing past.

  Katie, eyes twinkling, looked excitedly at Noosum asking, ‘Noosum Foosum, where are we going?’

  Noosum Foosum looked right back with a matching twinkle in his own eyes and said: ‘Just you wait and see!’

  Chapter 2

  They had been travelling for about an hour when Noosum Foosum suddenly declared: ‘There! Katie, Danny, take a look!’ They had been heading downstream all the while, past the furthest point they had ever been before in the boat and the river had widened significantly, so that the far bank was now quite distant. Noosum Foosum hadn’t let on where he was taking them, but it sounded like he was just about to. They joined him at the front of the boat and, looking out over the waters ahead, they could see that the river had opened out into what looked like a lake. The reeds and grasses had disappeared and the water stretched endlessly away and into the far distance.

  ‘Children, I have often taken the boat down to this point, but as you can see, the wind blows harder here and the waves rise higher than on the river and so the boat doesn’t normally have enough power to go any further. But today – today is different. Today we can get to the other side without even noticing the waves!’